Welcome to episode two of notsecondclassdads.ca. The coming storm all the signs are there that your relationship may be coming to an end. It’s just a matter of time until it’s over. As a father who loves his children, you begin to wonder about the kind of parenting relationship you are going to have with your children following separation. 

What’s your parenting time going to look like? Will there be fights with the mother of the children when you tell her your intentions and your relationship that you wish to have with your children. The relationship you will have with your children following separation will be greatly influenced by the kind of relationship you have with your children before separation. 

What do I mean by that? Every father has their own unique relationship with their children. Some fathers, from the birth of their children are fully invested in caring for their children, while other fathers, not so much for various reasons, could be related to work, lack of interest, or the thought they will never be in a position of potentially losing the relationship they have with their children. 

But regardless of what type of father you have been, if you know or believe that your relationship with the mother is in jeopardy and could result in separation in the future, it is time to decide the future relationship you wish to have with your children. If you do decide that your children need and deserve you in their life as much as possible, then it’s time for action. 

What kind of action? It’s time to show that you are willing, capable, and prepared to take the time, to care for your children as her father, without the need and presence of mother or other family members. 

What would that look like? Could mean spending generous parenting time with the children, without another adult present, that would be a helpful step to take. It could mean taking the children to a park somewhere overnight, taking them to school or their various activities meeting with their teachers attending appointments with medical healthcare professionals, are just some examples. 

Why is that so important? Because when you separate from the mother and you make it very clear that you want to establish an equivalent relationship, an equivalent parenting time schedule, the most common argument and a valid argument as that is a claim that without the support of other family members or the mother, you have never shown an interest in personally taking the time to care for your children. 

You haven’t demonstrated either the interest, the willingness, or the ability to do so before separation. If you follow those suggestions I have made before separation, you will clearly demonstrate to one and all. In fact, that you are definitely not a Second Class Dad. 

Until next time on notsecondclassdads.ca. This is Scott Taylor. Look forward to our next episode.